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One unfortunate day in October 2017, I lost my mother to a sudden heart attack. My life, as I knew it, ended that day. The life that was easy and full of naivety, the life of obliviousness from the vultures that live in this world. The initial few months after her death were the hardest. I couldn’t get back to normal life, no matter how hard I tried.

The first time I tried to get back to work, I had a panic attack. I didn’t even know what a panic attack was. I thought I was dying. I would either sleep all day or won’t sleep. I would go to work a 9 and stare at the wall till 5. My family would look at me and they won’t be able to tell I was in pain. My colleagues would talk to me but weren’t able to guess that I was praying to God to die.

Eight months in a mental misery, I knew my condition wasn’t normal. After a lot of research, talking to people who had gone through the same, and asking in various Facebook groups - I decided to get my mental profiling done. After the initial session, my psychologist told me I had PTSD, Clinical Depression, and Anxiety Disorder, and I had to start the treatment. For someone who had a degree in Advertising & PR, years, and years of work experience – these terms were so foreign. I was afraid people will judge me. I was afraid they will tell me; it was just because I wasn’t a good Muslim. But I knew I didn’t want to live my life the way I was living.

I started therapy. Even after four months, there was no improvement. I wasn’t suicidal, I didn’t want to die, but I remember telling my therapist: ‘I know what goes in the mind of someone who decides to kill himself’.

I didn’t want to live my life in a constant state of pain and anxiety. I decided to work on my mindset. Thirty days later, my life changed. That’s when I decided (I knew) people need to reset their minds to go to therapy and make it work.

I started talking to a lot of people who were going through the same, but they had no place to vent at and nobody to help them navigate the extremely crucial mental health hot waters. I had screamed for help during the worst days of my life, but I had no one to help me. My friends had left my side because they could not understand my situation.

That day, I took a pledge with myself. I decided to dedicate my life to everyone who struggles with mental health issues, but do not know how to overcome them. I took an oath that I will be a safe place for those who do not have a place they can really call home. I knew I wanted to create a place and community that will help people thrive mentally and make them proud of living a life and getting alive through each day with the monsters and demons of mental health issues.

I wanted people to know that even with all the mental diseases they live with, they have it within themselves to overcome them. Above all, I wanted everyone to be proud of how brave they are. And this is where The Self Love Project was born, because